Tuesday, 4 December 2007


It is officially December guys, which means summer sun, bbqs, family gatherings, longer days, school holidays, beautiful weather and the very best part, CHRISTMAS!!!! We love Christmas and want to take this opportunity to wish you all a very safe and happy holiday season...Joanne and I would also like to take this moment to thank you all once again for your fantastic support and encouragement during our first year here at the Homestead. We have gone from having 3 people on all weekend to needing 12 staff in total including Jo and myself. It is you guys, our wonderful regulars and first time customers that we can thank wholly and solely for our success. So thank you for all of the times you came for breakfast or lunch, or chose us to host your Wedding, Christening, Birthday, Engagement or Anniversary. Thank you for every friend or person you recommended us too, for every kind or encouraging word you said about us and our little Café/Function Centre… Joanne, Myself, all of our Staff and families would like to say a resounding VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL! Enjoy your holidays Guys and we look forward to seeing you all again in the New Year. Love Joanne and Tye xxx


Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun in 1897. [See The People’s Almanac, pp. 1358–9.]
Dear Editor - I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus? Virginia O’Hanlon
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, and no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world, which neither the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.




1. The Song White Christmas is the biggest selling Christmas single of all-time. 2. Sugar Plums are chocolate candies that are filled with fruit preservatives or other sweet cream fillings. 3. The Christmas Poem The Night Before Christmas written by Clement Moore was originally titled A Visit from St. Nicholas. 4. The Song Jingle Bells was originally titled One Horse Open Sleigh . 5. Did you realize the name Santa Claus is not mentioned once in the popular Christmas poem The Night Before Christmas . 6. Early Christmas trees were decorated with fruits, flowers and candles which were heavy on the tree branches. In the 1800's German glass blowers began producing glass balls to replace the heavy decorations and called then bulbs. 7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was written and created by Robert May. May was an employee of the department store Montgomery Ward, and created Rudolph for Montgomery Wards who issued coloring books each year to children at their stores for Christmas. 8. The most popular version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was recorded by Gene Autry in 1949 and sold 2 million copies of the song in one year. 9. Hallmark introduced its first Christmas cards in 1915, five years after the founding of the company. 10. MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!

Monday, 19 November 2007


Time seems to have flown by as it only can in the last 3 months leading up to the chaos and fun of Christmas activity and here we are in mid November already!
All of us here at the café have been getting back into the swing of ‘wedding season’, with a wedding almost every weekend to keep us busy!
The early warm weather promises that we should have a long warm summer ahead of us, which is perfect for wandering along the beach and around the grounds of the Homestead with the kids and soaking up the summer sun.
Thank you to those who came down and joined in all the festivities of Children's week with us, Jo and I had an amazing day and it was wonderful to see so many Crias attend the day. We certainly hope you had a great time and enjoyed the treasure hunt and looking at the amazing Vintage cars that were here courtesy of Hillmans Car Club.
Jo and I would like to say a huge thanks to Kayla, who helped out on the day on Alpaca Duty, Indiana, who very cheerfully manned the Chook pen point on the Treasure hunt and Gryffin who very politely helped the Book Fairy with the colouring in sheets and the scratch and sniff stickers! We would also like to say a very big thanks to all of the Café staff, Paulo, David and Sharon who manned the café and took care of everyone who went into the café for a bite to eat. Both Jo and I love Christmas and have an exciting Christmas Event in the works to wish all of our customers, regular and new a very Merry Christmas! We promise to keep you updated on this as we iron out the details.
Just a small reminder to you all that as you wander the grounds, please do be on the look out for snakes, we have seen one, it was headed very quickly in the opposite direction to us, but they are on the move and while they are keen to avoid people, we do ask that you watch carefully in the grassier areas. Enjoy the sunshine guys and remember if there is anything we can do for you, just ask!


Stuarts Pick of The Month for November is…”Confessions of and Heiress” by Paris Hilton.
I know, I know, there were those of us who were stunned that young Paris could write a book, I mean seriously, who among us knew she could even read! It was, of course, of no surprise to Stuart that Paris Hilton, heiress to the Hilton fortune, professional party goer and all round bad girl would release a premature autobiography on her fabulously exciting life.
Who wouldn't, given the fact that she is constantly surrounded by B grade celebrities, has a father with more money than god, spends a great deal of her time being photographed without underwear and is renowned, as they say, for going to the opening of an envelope….oh the juicy stories we all hoped she would divulge…
Alas, rather than getting a gossip fest the trashiest tabloids would drool over, we instead were relegated with tips and tricks on how to be the perfect heiress. Of course there are SO many lost little heiresses out there who are just desperate for guidance on how to behave in a manner fit for their station! Perhaps the most helpful bit of advice young Paris espouses in her (complete waste of paper can you believe trees died for this..) book is for aspiring heiresses to “always act like you are wearing an invisible crown, I do and it has always worked for me…” One has to wonder how well that worked for her in prison.
Still at least, being invisible and all the other inmates couldn't steal it from her and maim her with it! (Now there is a book I would love to read)
Stuart was so derangedly bored with this piece of trash he has failed to revive himself enough to even give it a skull rating...


TYES USELESS INFORMATION! I SWEAR ITS TRUE…. – 4000 people are injured by teapots every year. – A toothpick is the object most choked on by Americans. – In every deck of cards the King of Hearts is sticking his sword through his head, which is why he is often called the suicide king. – It takes a plastic container 50,000 years to start decomposing. – Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.

Staff Update!

We have 2 new staff members on board to introduce you too this month!
April has joined us for a regular Saturday shift and is also filling in on some Sundays. April is a very efficient and cheerful addition to our staff here at the café!
We would also like to welcome Sharon who had her first shift with us on Childrens day and was filling in for us everysecond Sunday. I say was, as Sharon has very badly injured her elbow and wont be joining us again for a while, but we certainly hope she gets better very soon, and want to welcome her on board...when she gets back!
As always, all of our staff are here to help you, so don't hesitate to tell them what you need.

Tuesday, 16 October 2007


Stuarts Pick of the Month For October is …”David Copperfield” By Charles Dickens. ‘Reading David Copperfield made me want to kill small furry animals…’ posted one reader on a discussion review panel for this book. Not looking good so far huh? It has been said that David Copperfield is in fact a thinly veiled autobiography for Charles Dickens. If this is true, what a bloody miserable life he led. It begins with David as a boy. His father having died before his birth, he is very close to his mother until she remarries a cold, heartless brute and poor David finds himself being traumatised and beaten regularly. Then his mother dies giving birth to another screaming brat and he is shipped off to live with a succession of obscure relatives who each fail him miserably by tuning out to be frauds, alcoholics or just downright loony tunes! As he grows up he ends up marrying a woman who is not his ‘true love’ , whilst he still pines for her mind you, and then just as he comes to love the woman he did marry, she dies of a tragic illness! The melodrama is never ending in this long winded tale of true Victorian woe, which leaves the reader seriously contemplating what the hell else could go wrong. This book did not prompt Stuart to kill small furry animals, just himself. 5 skulls out of 5 for its sheer drudgery.


Celebrate Children's Week with us Come on down and join the fuss We have activities and fun galore The Book Fairy and even more! Come along and get your map (But it might be sunny, so wear a cap) Lots of treasures for you to discover We promise an adventure like no other! Meet Kerry and Jamie Of course, they will be there! Do a painting and find a BEAR We promise there will be lots of laughter And a day to remember for ever after…

The Low Down....

September was a very busy month for us here at the café, as I am sure most of our regular customers can attest too! September 15th saw us hosting our first Wedding Reception for this “Wedding Season”
Jayne and Kevin held their ceremony in Williamstown and later celebrated their reception with us here in the Café. A lovely evening was had by all and we certainly wish Jayne and Kevin all the very best for the future.
The following weekend, September 22nd, saw us hosting both the ceremony and reception for Rodalyn and Michael, a lovely couple who danced the night away to the tunes of our resident DJ, DJ Junior. Again, both Jo and I wish Roda and Michael a wonderful future together!
We have also held several kids parties and been host to the 60’s to 80’s Holden Enthusiasts and almost the entire St James Parish for a luncheon on the same day no less!
For those of you who visit us regularly and for our newcomers as well, Joanne and I would like to apologies in advance to you all if we have been too busy to stop and have our usual chat, or if your wait times have been a little longer than usual! We are doing our very best to get on top of our increasing business and are in the process of hiring and training new staff to ensure our level of customer service remains as high as possible.
On that note, we would like to give a big welcome to our newest staff member's, Meredith and April, who joins us for Saturdays from now on. When you think back, just 12 short months ago it was Jo, Maureen and Kylie all weekend, with me as the occasional ring in, now we employ 7 other staff!!! With summer fast approaching we have changed our café menu to suit the warmer weather and we sincerely hope you guys approve.
Don’t forget the Hillmans Car Club is coming to display their beautiful vintage cars on October 21st, which is also the very same day we will be celebrating Children's week with all sorts of fun, games and activities!
Please don't hesitate to ask Us or our friendly staff for more info on upcoming events….


Some of you may know, some may not, that when Joanne first took over this business, she had approx 3 weeks to go before the birth of her second little boy, Rohan.
On October 3rd, Rohan turned One, and he gets cuter every day!
A very big HAPPY BIRTHDAY from all of us Rohan, we all love you very much!!!


Some of you might remember Kylie, Jo’s sister, my sister in law and Maureen’s Daughter.
She used to be a regular smiling face behind the counter here at the café.
If you thought the sun shone a little brighter this last September 14th, it was because Kylie and her Husband Andrew welcomed into the world a beautiful baby girl named Hannah Jane. We want to wish Kylie and Andrew CONGRATULATIONS and thank them for giving us such a beautiful new addition the universe!

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Need a Function Venue?

Looking for the perfect venue for your next important event? We have the answer!
Within our lovely little Café hides a secret...this room, with a little help from our very talented Joanne, magically converts into a magnificent and elegant function room that can comfortably seat 100 guest’s a Bridal table, a dance floor and a accommodate a band or DJ. Unbelievable isn't it?!
Both Joanne and I pride ourselves on our functions and do all we can to ensure your special event goes as smoothly as possible.
We are able to host any event you might fancy holding, everything from Christenings to Birthdays, Christmas parties and Corporate Dinners, Trivia nights Dinner Dances and Graduations. Nothing is too big or too complicated.
We have menus to suit all tastes and budgets and can happily cater for most food allergies. You need never worry about the little details again. Our function packages include everything you might need from table centres to candles, linen napkins to balloons….
We also have an extensive recommendations list with contact details for DJ’s, Celebrants, Photographers, Videographers and Cake Makers. Your event is important to you and therefore important to us why not let us take care of all the details.
Please feel free to ask one of our friendly staff for a Functions Package, or check our website for details at www.pointcookhomestead.com Or contact Joanne on 93951213.


Stuarts Pick this Month is….”Great Expectations” By Charles Dickens.
So incredibly, devastatingly boring was this book that poor old Stuie simply could not get past page 4. Desperate to know what all the fuss was about he tried reading the Cliff Notes to perhaps gain some insight he might be missing...This is what he found:
Cliffs Notes on Great Expectations follows the story of Pip, an English orphan who rises to wealth, deserts his true friends, and becomes humbled by his own arrogance. It also introduces one of the more colourful characters in literature: Miss Havasham. Charles Dickens set Great Expectations during the time that England was becoming a wealthy world power. Machines were making factories more productive, yet people lived in awful conditions, and such themes carry into the story.’
Inspiring huh? Yep, that’s what we concluded. Not to be deterred Stuart turned to the movie version, starring Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow. Sadly, despite featuring some very hot stars indeed, the essential story remained skull crushingly boring and twisted. Forced to abandon all hope of ever finding a single ounce of enjoyment or entertainment as a result of this story Stuart gives Great Expectations 5 skulls out of 5 for being an absolute load of codswallop and has retired to the corner with a stiff brandy.


Joanne and I would like to invite expressions of interest in an event we are planning for October. Witches and Warlocks promises to be an exciting event and a great excuse to dress up! Tickets will be $20.00 per head and includes plenty of delectable finger food, with drinks available at bar prices. There will be door prizes for the best dressed attendee and DJ Junior will ensure you rock the night away on the dance floor. Date is to be advised, but we would love to hear some feedback from you. Pre Purchasing of tickets will be essential! If you are interested please speak to Joanne or Tye on 93951213.

Tyes Useless Info...

*The KFC slogan, ‘finger lickin good’ translates to ‘eat your fingers off’ in Chinese. *The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosurdarstvennoy Bezopasnos. *The D in D-Day, means Day. *Rio de Janeiro translates to River of January. *Spain literally means ‘the land of rabbits’. *Papaphobia is a fear of Popes. *19th of November is Have a Bad Day day. *29th of November is National Sinky Day, a day to eat over ones sink and worship it.

Heritage Care Program.

The Point Cook Homestead is pleased to have received some funding for a volunteer program, thanks to Heritage Victoria and Conservation Volunteers Australia . Old farm machinery across the property, some of it having been here since the 1930's, is being collected, treated with rust inhibitor, catalogued and beautifully re-displayed. The project will take 6 months, with a team of 5 volunteers working two days a week. Once completed, the display area will be a fabulous addition to the ongoing improvements taking place at the property. We are also looking at starting a Friends of Point Cook Homestead group, so if you have an interest in the fascinating history of the property, and a few hours to spare each month, Emma is taking expressions of interest on 9395 7501.


Hello Dear Customers!
Here we are already arriving at September and Jo and I can scarcely believe that this year has sped by at such an alarming rate!
This month marks one year since Joanne took over management of the Café, (I officially joined her in December) For those of you who have been with us from the very beginning, THANKYOU! Your support as regular customers has helped us get this far and both Joanne and I want you all to know how much we appreciate your support.
For those of you just joining us today, Welcome! We hope you stay on for the ride... Entirely at your own risk of course. This year has seen a lot of changes for Joanne and I and as we reflect on all we have accomplished we do it with a sense of humble pride, but we can also understand why we are so exhausted!
Without doubt, last Saturday evening’s Dinner In Portugal was our biggest event to date. Release your collective bated breath guys, we made it through! The evening was a spectacular success and those who were able to procure a ticket assure us they had a wonderful time. A very big thanks from us to all of those who participated, helped and attended.
Joanne and I attended the Geelong Bridal Expo (yes, the next morning) which was a wonderful opportunity to meet other professionals in the field and get the word out to all that Point Cook Homestead Café is also an excellent venue for a Wedding!
In other Café news, we are gearing up for Wedding Season so please do not be alarmed if you come down for breakfast and find we have moved the tables and chairs (again) Our Alpaca friends are going to be shorn in October so they can better cope with Summer, watch this space for a date as all will be welcome to come and watch.
We would also like to welcome Kerry our newest member of staff! Kerry has proven to be an invaluable part of the team and is an AWESOME in the kitchen, please make her feel very welcome.
Jo and I sincerely hope to see more of you in the coming months as the weather warms up and makes the Homestead an even more beautiful place to be...

Thursday, 2 August 2007

Harry Potter Eve Gallery.

Stained glass window transfiguration... Potions Classes.... Professor Trelawny and her budding student... Harry Potter and Murray Wizard... A pot of goodies...
Mrs Figg... Professor Tye and Snapes Assistant... Wandmaking....

Harry Potter Eve!

Both Joanne and myself were thrilled with the turnout for Harry Potter Eve! We were joined by lots of excited kids and grownups alike for a magical fun filled evening. Everyone got into the spirit and got dressed up which was fantastic. Our First place for best dressed went to Luke Beardsley, who made a very convincing Harry. Second prize went to Stuart for being a remarkable Hagrid and Third prize went to Oliver for making such a beautiful wizards hat!!
Upon arrival everyone was sorted and placed into one of four Hogwarts houses. Strangely enough we ended up with an awful lot of Gryffindors and not a single Slytherin...Then it was time for classes to begin!
We had Wand making with Professor Tye, featuring wood from the Whomping Willow and I would like to take this moment to thank Hogwarts for all for the Unicorn hair, Centaur fur, Mermaid skin, Phoenix feathers and Hippogriff feathers they so kindly sent to us. Of course the most important aspect of wand making is Essential Wand Safety 101, which everyone passed with flying colors!
Then it was off to Potions, run by Professor Snapes assistant, Joanne, everyone agreed they had a wonderful time making their Happiness Potions!
Next was spell writing, which was presided over by Professor Trelawny, who did a magnificent job of guiding the students through the writing of their spells.
Last but not least was Stained Glass Window Transfiguration, (colouring in to you Muggles) Along with all of the wonderful food and the reading of the final chapter of Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince over in the front room of the Homestead, I think we can truly say it was a jam packed evening full of magic and fun!
Thank you so much to all of you who came and had a great time, it made our evening all the more magical. Even though there will never be another book to celebrate, we might just have to find an excuse to do it all again next year!

Dear Aunt Gladys

Dear Aunt Gladys, I really hope you can help me with my problem. I have been going out with a boy for 2 weeks now. He is very nice and I really like him. He has asked me to the movies. I am really excited! When he asked me which movie I wanted to see I told him I would love to see Harry Potter. The next day he told me we were going to see The Simpson's. I do not want to see this movie and am worried this does not bode well for our relationship. What do you think?
Signed, Distraught…
Dearest Distraught,
My dear girl. First may I begin by saying well done on recognizing this problem so soon! Of course this is a very obvious pre cursor to what could become major conflict down the track. Seems to me this boy is showing all the signs of being the worst kind of selfish cad! What on earth was the point of asking you which movie you wanted to see only to override it with his own preference when he decided he did not agree with yours!
Today its which movie you would prefer, tomorrow it is which colors for the lounge room, or what to name the baby, or even can you return to work after the baby! This boy sounds as though he will grow up into the kind of man that controls your every move, from what to name the dog to whom will look after his ailing mother.
I say dear girl, run, run for your life as though a rabid squirrel was on your heels. Run and never look back. As they say...There is no cure for rabies and prevention is better than a cure.
Love, Aunt Gladys xx


We desperately need an experienced kitchen hand to work Saturdays and Sundays in the Café. The successful applicant will have kitchen and cooking experience, including food preparation and service. For further details, please speak to Tye or Jo on 93951213.

Bits and Bobs...

You may have noticed the floors have been sanded and polished recently and as a result they not only look wonderful but are much easier to clean!
Our darling Jo is very distressed about the new floors remaining that way even though she knows realistically, they will get wrecked again eventually. If you could all just humor her folks and refrain from bringing in skate boards or cattle or six inch heels, I know I would greatly appreciate your help to the contribution of the continued ongoing maintenance of her sanity…
Jo and I will be attending the Bridal Expo in Geelong on August 19th to promote The Café as a Wedding and reception venue. Wish us luck!

Tyes Useless Info....

Did you know…. Some of you may have noticed our Alpaca friends need shearing. Whilst it is true they have not been shorn for 2 years, when we rang the Australian Alpaca association to get a shearer, we were told they cannot be shorn till October. Alpacas, unlike Sheep cannot control their body temperatures very well, which means they can easily die of hypothermia. Their fleece is so thick they also need Vitamin D injections to prevent them from getting rickets. It apparently is not uncommon to leave Alapacas unshorn for up to 7 years! The boys will be getting shorn in late October!

Tarnia and Chris....

Saturday July 21st saw the wedding of Tarnia and Chris.
A beautiful twilight ceremony was held on the front verandah of the Homestead, where Tarnia and Chris were attended by Tarnias sister Theresa and Chris best man…
Family and friends gathered as darkness fell to support the young couple and wish them the very best for their married life ahead.
Then it was celebrations and revelry in the café, where a lovely time was had by all. Joanne and I would like to wish Tarnia and Chris all the happiness they so richly deserve for their future together!

Stuarts Pick Of The Month: Books Guranteed To Bore You To Death.

Stuarts Pick of the Month for August is…’Labyrinth’ By Kate Mosse.
A controversial pick for Stuie this month seeing as this little tome was given the jaw dropping by line of being a number one best seller. In the aftermath of “The DaVinci Code”, a lot of “Grail” stories cropped up as authors and publishers everywhere heard the resounding ching of thousands of cash registers as they rushed as many stories of catholic church wrongdoings as possible off the presses.
Some of them were well researched and quite eye opening. Others were simply good weekend reading. Some of them were absolute pulp worthy. ‘Labyrinth’ falls headlong into the this latter category.
You all know how the story goes…”July 1209:in Carcassonne a 17 year old girl is given a mysterious book by her father which he claims contains the secret of the true Grail…”blah, blah, blah. Despite its alluring cover and blurb sadly ‘Labyrinth’ fails to deliver any of its promised mystery or any thing even remotely interesting at all. In fact by page 113, the deluded reader (who really should be wising up by now) is still waiting for any riveting piece of information to be divulged or even regurgitated.
Sadly a complete waste of time, paper, money and space on your bookshelf. Stuart gives this one 3 skulls out of 5 for being nothing more than jump on the Grail bandwagon pulp.

Wednesday, 4 July 2007

Harry Potter Eve...

July 2007 is promising to be a very big month for Harry Potter Fans the world over. “Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows” is due for release July 21st and “The Order of the Phoenix “will grace our cinema screens from July 13th.
Even the Muggles have noticed that something big is going on in the world of the Boy Wizard. It is an exciting time and a sad time, for who knows what will become of the characters we have all grown to know and love? I know we are being re assured that there will be 2 more movie releases to come after this, but the sad fact is, there will be no more cliff hanging anticipation for the fans of the books, where it all began…
To ensure that we squeeze as much fun and excitement as humanly possible out of the final book release, we have planned a fun filled evening to pre empt and prepare you for your early morning line up at the book store of your choice.
July 20th will be forever known as Harry Potter Eve and boy do we have some big plans for it! There will be spell writing, potion making, wand making and lots of other great activities for you to enjoy. The sorting hat will make an appearance and all those who attend will be sorted into one of the 4 Hogwarts houses. We will have an amazing array of food whipped up by none other than some house elves we borrowed from the kitchens at Hogwarts, including Pumpkin Scones and Bertie Botts every flavor beans!
There will, of course be a fireside reading of the final chapter of “Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince” to close out the evening.
We are encouraging all of you to come dressed up in your Hogwarts gear and there will be prizes for the best dressed. Tickets are just $20.00 per head for an evening that promises to be jam packed and truly magical. For more details, call Tye on 0420371787.

Wyndham Live It, Love It!

Those of you who read The Leader Newspaper, might have noticed a new feature called the Wyndham Live It Love It page.
Joanne and I are proud to be a part of this community page which informs the community at large of events happening in Wyndham.
It is all part of a new project called the Wyndham Ambassador Program which is promoting our wonderful community as a great place to live and to visit!
For more information on this program please ask our staff for a brochure, which details all of the benefits for you and your family.

Stuarts Pick Of The Month...July.

Stuart’s pick this month is….James Joyce’s ‘Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man’.
Never heard of it? Not surprised, those who have read it have either never bothered to relive the horrendous experience or have literally died of boredom whilst reading it.
Put simply it is a novel about a young man growing up in 19th century Ireland, in a highly religious Catholic family that sends him off to boarding school, which he hates (surprise ,surprise!) and his journey of self discovery after his family goes broke and he moves to Dublin to become a writer….blah, blah.
It is your typical poor bugger me 19th Century Irish hardship novel, which I might add worked fantastically well for Frank Mc Court, but not for dear old James Joyce. The difference between the two? Mc Court makes his story not only heart breakingly real but interesting and relatable. Joyce on the other hand, despite being a highly celebrated author, does no such thing.
It is true suffering to have to read this book beyond page 1, let alone endure the entire thing, (which I had to do in Year 11)
Read it or Not? Unless you are a complete masochist or you need to enter into a coma, don't bother. Stuart gives this one a well earned 5 skulls out of 5 for being possibly the most incredibly boring book in history...


Remember the days when you could rely on the Agony Aunt Column of your local newspaper or favourite magazine to give all the answers to those most pressing and perhaps embarrassing problems? Those days are back! Here at the Café we are offering our customers a chance to get advice from our Dear Aunt Gladys. From her spot on top of the cake fridge she sees all… Our customers are very important to us and as such we want to ensure they remain happy and healthy and of sound mind, (unlike ourselves…) ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’ or so they say, so if you find yourself with a problem, no matter how trivial, Aunt Gladys would love to help! Be it that you are having trouble with the neighbours barking dog, cant get your loved one to return your calls, unsure about the right time of years to plant azaleas, we guarantee Aunt Gladys has the answer! (We do not however guarantee it will be the right one…) All you have to do is ask one of our friendly staff for a special piece of floral paper, (she likes to keep it pretty) write down your problem and out it in the box. Aunt Gladys will choose 2 problems a month and answer them in the newsletter. Anonymous letters are most welcome! Watch this space for the very first column...it could be yours!


Hello to all of you boys and girls who have joined the Cria Club! Kerry and Jamie asked us to let you know your welcome letters and membership badges are on their way to you right now! For those of you who haven't joined, look for the Free Membership form on your table and sign up for some great fun!

Staff Update.

Joanne and I would like to extend a very warm welcome to Stephen and Natalie who have joined our little café family as weekend staff members. You will see Stephen and Natalie around the café on a Saturday and Sunday, and sometimes both! Both are very friendly, do not bite ( a pre requisite of employment) and are happy to help with any queries you might have or orders you want to place. Please make feel free to say hi to both of them on your next visit with us! As always if you have any suggestions or queries about the café, Joanne and I would love to hear them and help you out in any way we can! Feel Free to call us on 93951213 or 0438042926, 0420371787.

Tye's Useless Information.

Did you know…. Harry Potter Style… – To free your house elf, you need only to give them an item of clothing. – Voldemorts real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. – Professor McGonagall can animorph into a cat. – Lucius Malfoy is a Deatheater – You must be 17 years or older to enter the Tri Wizard Cup. – The Weasley Family are purebloods. – A mud blood is someone who comes from a non wizarding family. – Professor Lupin is a werewolf.

Monday, 11 June 2007

Stuarts Pick Of The Month.

Those of you who have been to the Cafe recently will be familiar with Stuart. Stuart is the late, tragic fiancee of Lady Decomp and after his gala performance on the night he has taken up permanent residence in the corner nearest to the fire. We have found Stuart to be incredibly useful and versatile. His many talents include...starting great conversations, being the life of the party at our last 4 functions, making sure no one but Tye sits in the rocking chair by the fire and childminding, (whilst there is no fee for this service, we do advise you leave your children with him at your own risk) Now Stuart is branching out and will be writing a monthly column in our Newsletter. It will be called 'Stuarts Pick Of The Month...Books Guaranteed To Bore You To Death.' This month Stuart can be seen reading Geraldine Brooks 'epic masterpiece' "Year Of Wonders". A sweeping saga that tells of the tragic epidemic that was the bubonic plague. It is simply unputdownable, especially if you fall asleep reading it and have a massive hand cramp. Stuart is rating this one a massive 4 skulls out of 5 for its devastating boredom factor. In fact, Tye will give a free Latte to anyone who can claim they loved it with a straight face. (You must also be able to prove you stayed awake throughout your reading of this book.) Stay tuned to see which novelist will fall victim to Stuarts scathing wit next....

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Tye's Usless Info!

Did you know…. # Alfred Hitchcock did not have a bellybutton… #In a church in Omaha, Nebraska, it is against the law to burp or sneeze… #The nest of a bald eagle can weigh over a tonne… #The great horned owl can turn its head 270 degrees… #The most venomous of all snakes the Inland Taipan, has enough venom in one bite to kill more than 200,00 mice… #There are more caribou in Alaska than people… #There are close to 1 million sheep in Iceland… #Elephants and short tail shrews get by on only 2 hours sleep a day...

Gift Corner!!

You might have noticed our gift corner has been established in the last few weeks. We are proud to offer beautiful handmade products from Yuulong Lavender Farm. These ladies make exquisite, all natural lavender products for your home and body. The Lavender Hand Cream is simply divine! And did you know that Pure Lavender Oil is excellent to rub on to burns, not only does it take away the sting but it also helps with scarring, (just ask Tye..) We also have handspun wool and knitting kits from Merry Munchkin Designs and Sheepy Chic, both local fiber artists. Please feel free to ask our staff any questions you might have about our gift corner, we are, as always happy to help!

Lady Ella de Comp

Our first ever theatrical evening was a huge success! The weather decided to help us out and ensure we were all sufficiently creeped out by the cold, dark, windy evening...still it made returning to the café and the warmth of the fire all the more satisfying. To be honest I do not know who was more scared, those who attended, or me having to play the part of Ella in front of 40 people for the first time. As some of you know, tickets were sold out and after much discussion Joanne and I have decided to do it all again (as soon as I get some thermals to go under that flimsy lace wedding dress) Those who were lucky enough to get tickets also had the tough decision of what to have for supper, Lamb Casserole with Creamy Mash Potato, or Hearty Minestrone with Hot Crusty Damper... Both Joanne and I would like to say a very big thank you to those who braved the weather and the dark to support our little adventure. We would also like to thank the hidden staff of the evening, David and Paulo! A big thanks also has to be said to Ruth Tully for the donation of her beautiful family heirloom wedding dress. Of course the evening would have not have been as interesting without the use of the Homestead itself and for this we would like to thank Emma and Mike, especially Mike and the kids, (they were the ones who sat in the living quarters and endured all of the strange noises and running about!) So for those of you already on our mailing list never fear, you guys will be the first to know when we are set to have another “Ghastly Evening with Lady De Comp”, for those of you who would like to sign up on our mailing list and find out first hand all of our exciting event details, please see Joanne or Tye.

Shake, Rattle 'n' Roll!

Do you hanker for the Good Ole Days when women wore full skirts and guys had oily hair? When a burger was made from real cows and thick shakes were really thick? When Rock and Roll was all the rage and music had lyrics you could sing too and gyrate your hips at the same time? When Elvis was the King and Buddy Holly was cool for wearing glasses and boys named Bobby crooned to girls named Donna? When your Teen Angel loved you so much she would give up her life on a railroad track to go get that high school ring... Well then, Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire! Join us and our good friend Jive Bunny for a great night of good old Rock ‘n’ Roll. Ah Huh! Burgers, Fries, Shakes and Hot Fudge Sundaes are on the menu along with Live Entertainment and Rock ‘n’ Roll Demonstrations! Get your dancing shoes on, grab a partner and come on lets do the twist! $30 per person Includes Entry, Entertainment & Dinner! Drinks @ Bar Prices All Tickets Must Be Pre-Purchased Please Contact Joanne on 0438 042 926 For Further Information or To Book Your Tickets!

Introducing Jamie & Kerry

That’s right folks, some of you may have noticed we have 2 new additions to our little family here at the homestead, (I personally think they look more like Joanne than me…hehehe)
It is with great pleasure that we introduce to you our Alpaca friends, Kerry (black and white) and Jamie (russet brown). These beautiful boys come to us from the Tarneit Children's Animal Farm and now have a new home with us. Alpacas are traditionally used to protect and herd sheep in their native South America and whilst these boys are very friendly, having been hand reared, they might not stand around too long for a pat.
Alpacas tend to be very curious, so they will come over to have a bit of a sniff at you and whilst they don't mind being petted, please don't be offended if they move away after a short time. We are having them sheared within the next week or so, so they will look a little neater next time you see them. I, for one am looking forward to spinning up their lovely fleece for sale in the café gift corner! In the meantime please feel free to go out the back and say Hi to them, we are sure they will be glad to meet you!

Sunday, 3 June 2007

Harry Potter Eve!

Sunday, 27 May 2007

Shake, Rattle 'n' Roll - Friday 22nd June, 2007

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire! Join us and our good friend Jive Bunny for a great night of good old Rock ‘n’ Roll. Ah Huh! Burgers, Fries, Shakes and Hot Fudge Sundaes are on the menu along with Live Entertainment and Rock ‘n’ Roll Demonstrations! Get your dancing shoes on, grab a partner and come on lets do the twist! $30 per person Includes Entry, Entertainment & Dinner! Drinks @ Bar Prices All Tickets Must Be Pre-Purchased Please Contact Joanne on 0438 042 926 For Further Information or To Book Your Tickets!

Lady Ella de Comp

A Quick Thank You To All Of Those Who Attending "A Ghastly Evening With Lady de Comp" Last Night. We Hope You All Had A Wonderful Evening!
Due To The Success Of Last Nights Theatrical Event And The Many Enquiries We Have Had Today Alone, We Will Be Setting A Date For Another "Ghastly Evening With Lady de Comp".
Details Will Be Posted Shortly!
Thank You All For Your Ongoing Support!
Kind Regards
Joanne and Tye!